'Dark Souls' Review?

     So I had missed out on a lot of games last year due to lack of funds. However, now that my wallet has somewhat recovered from the fall gaming season, I decided to get some of the games I had missed out on. The first I decided to try out was Dark Souls. Whoops...

EDIT: I'm quite the idiot. This game is one of the greatest games I've ever played, and I did it an injustice by not giving it a chance. I've since bought the game for PC and have completed it, and I'm very much looking forwards to Dark Souls II. I'm quite ashamed that I didn't give Dark Souls the chance it deserved, and I urge you to have patience and give it a chance. I've done a few edits to fix my stupidity...

A severe lapse in judgement on my part...

What is this... Weaboo?

      While watching a livestream a few weeks months ago, I heard a conversation between the Livestreamer and a commentor in the chat box. It went a little something like this:

Commentor: "Desu" means "death".
Livestreamer: "Desu" does not mean "death", you stupid weaboo!

     All I could say was... WUT? So, I did some research, and here's what I found...

Wait, what do you mean research? Is this about to be educational?

"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Skyrimsmas

     Huzzah! It's finished! I had several ideas for this year's parody of the classic, "'Twas the Night Before Christmas", but I had to settle on one. I chose the one that I feel makes the most sense this year (you'll see what I mean). This year, like the first year I started this tradition, I present a story from one of the year's greatest video games. I think it's pretty obvious which one it is...

      Skyrim of course! Be ye warned: there are a few spoilers (yes, spoilers) in my story; in particular, a spoiler pertaining to one of the shouts you obtain once the main quest is complete. You have been warned! Otherwise, enjoy...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a sound could be heard, save the roar of my shouts.
The rest of the family, were all snug in their beds,
While I was slaying dragons in the land of Skyrim.

"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Memesmas

     I just want to say one thing: computer viruses are a real pain. I have an intense fight on my hands with this one, but I have things I want to do and I'm not going to let it stop me. By now you know the drill: here's a parody from the past...

      The time has come yet again for a glorious spoof of the wonderful "'Twas the Night Before Christmas". In 2008, the tale was in a far off battlefield, narrating one of many epic battles between the Master Chief and his alien foes. Last year, the battle hit home as yours truly did battle with the Fat Man. This year, the tale takes a less violent route. This year, the tale looks into the wide world of "memes". What is a "meme", you might ask? Go Google it. ON TO THE STORY!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all were in bed
Except for myself, busy surfing the Web
The stockings were hung anywhere there was space
Due to the unfortunate lack of a real fireplace

"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Battlesmas

     Whew! What a week... So, I missed posting one of these last Thursday due to a virus coursing through my computron. After several days of "virus eradication duty", I have finally (hopefully) destroyed the infernal infection. So, here's another "Twas the Night Before Christmas" parody. As before, I'm posting it unaltered from the one I posted on Facebook a few years ago. So now enjoy, 'Twas the Night Before Apocalypse".

     Yet another year has passed. Indeed, the time has come for yet another thrilling parody of the classic story: "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." Last year, the tale was in a far off battlefield, narrating one of many epic battles between the Master Chief and his alien foes. This year, however, the tale hits the home front, bringing the battle directly into your own living room. Some of you may gasp in horror at the grisly details of my tale; therefore, ye be warned, this story is not for the faint of heart. Some of you may think that I have too much time on my hands...and you would be right. And still some of you may read this and consider it brainless...to that I say, "Nobody asked you for your opinion!" Alas, I digress. So now, for a tale, a year in the making:
   

    'Twas the night before Christmas
    And thus was my plan
    To keep vigil throughout the night
    And wait for the "Fat Man"    

Assassin's Creed 3 Speculation: 'Revelations', I am Disappoint...

     So... I'm kind of disappointed in Assassin's Creed: Revelations. Sure, the game answered a lot some one of my questions, but... Well, it didn't do much else. From the "Da Vinci Disappearance" DLC, I already knew where we were going, or at least I had hoped we weren't going there. It didn't answer a few of the more pressing questions I had. Before reading this post you need to read the other two (Speculation and Revisited), so I don't have to repeat myself. As with the other two posts, there are going to probably be quite a few spoilers, so if you haven't played the games don't read this. Go play the games. Except for maybe the most recent one...

I do hope this is the last one of these I have to make...

"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Halosmas

     It's that time of year again! Every year for the past three years I've made a parody of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas". It's become a sort of tradition for me: one, to have something as an annual tradition and two, to continue to practice my writing and vocabulary skills. Sometimes it's a lot harder than I anticipate (as is seems to be this year). But, I shall persevere.

     In the meantime, I've decided to post the ones I've done over the past few years over the course of the next few weeks (one a week, I suppose). In 2008, the first year I really put an effort into it, I wrote an epic tale of Christmas on the front lines. Only these "front lines" were a little over five hundred years in the future, and on a planet far away...

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the front

Not a creature was stirring

Well maybe a Grunt.

Do Watch: 'Akira'

      I originally found Akira a few years ago, back when I first started watching anime. I skipped over it. Back then it was all about the new, the crisp, the clean. At first glance, Akira was none of those. Made in 1988, it certainly wasn't new, and the animation wasn't as clean and crisp as most of the shows I was watching at the time. Akira was made with traditional "cel animation", unlike modern digital animation. At first, I only gave it a glance. I had no idea how foolish that was...

Violent Video Games, You Say?

      Over the past few years I've been known to say, "I love blood and violence!". On occasion that stems from a desire to quote Sarge from Red vs Blue. Most of the time, however, it's a legitimate expression of my own thoughts. "Goongala! You blood-thirsty warmonger!" CHILL OUT! I have my reasons for this; namely: realism. As I've said previously, I find blood and gore adds a certain amount of realism to a game, movie, or anime. There is a limit to that though, and anime exceeds it often. But, if you're going to have violence in your game, movie, or anime, at least have blood to go along with it. It does make a difference in realism. I'm not in it only for the bloody violence. This is all besides the point however, and I digress from the original point of this post. I warn you now, it's going to be a long one (quite possibly the longest piece I've ever written). Also, keep in mind that most of this was written a few months ago, so certain info and/or data may be a bit dated...

Let's talk about games, shall we?

'Kingdom of Heaven'... The Director's Cut.

     "Wait a minute, Goongala. If I'm reading this correctly, you're doing a movie review. You don't do movie reviews." Yes, I do! Well, okay, no I don't. But, now I am! At least one movie review anyway. I just had to do it, my conscience compelled me...

     The first time I watched Kingdom of Heaven, it instantly made my “favorites” list. The story was pretty good; the historical accuracy, although stretched at times, was excellent; the music was phenomenal; and the actors completely owned their characters. If there was one problem with Kingdom of Heaven, it would have been that character development was non-existent. You see only a glimpse into the backstory, a mere page in what should have been a whole book of information. In walks the Director's Cut, which adds over forty minutes to the movie as well as several changes to the original footage. PROBLEM SOLVED.

And here...we...go...