A Goon's Day at the Fair...

     Forgive me, blog, for I have neglected you for far too long. I have not been idle, however. These past few weeks have been wonderful and full of many great things. For one, I've been... sewing. Ugh, that sounds so... unmanly. How about, clothsmithing? Yeah, that's good. Why have I been clothsmithing? For the Renaissance Fair of course!

Yep, that's me. Not what you expected? Yeah, me neither...

     Several friends and I decided to make a day trip to the North Carolina Renaissance Fair this past weekend, and what a trip it was. "Show us the highlight reel!" Oh, okay... but you know there are good and bad highlights, right? (This is a "Life" post, and, while I'll try to make it as funny as possible, it may not happen.)

1. The Food Was Fantastic... and Expensive.
     One of the best parts of a Ren Fair is the ability to buy a massive turkey leg and then proceed to walk around whilst eating it with no one judging you. I had one of these turkey legs, as well as some mac-and-cheese on a stick and some fantastic roasted almonds.

I know what it looks like, but he's not about to get beaten down for stealing some of my roasted nuts...

     But, it was very expensive. $7 for a turkey leg is outrageous, despite how big it was. But that is to be expected at an event like this.

2. The Costumes Were Great... Mostly.
     As with the previous years I've gone, there were a lot of really good costumes. Many were probably people working at the fair, and so one would expect quality from their costumes. Others were obviously not working for the fair, but had amazing costumes nonetheless. But as with everything good, there must be the bad...

Enter Princess Whale-da.

     Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of her. I only saw her once, and once was one time too many. Here's the way I look at it: some people should not be allowed to cosplay as certain characters. I'm kind of breaking this rule myself, being as big as I am yet cosplaying as an assassin. But this woman... None of my friends saw her either, which means I was the sole victim of an unfortunate "what-has-been-seen-cannot-be-unseen" moment. I hate to make fun of fat people (and I'd never do it to their faces) but... She was a whale in a Zelda costume.

3. The Atmosphere... and Family-UNfriendliness
     One of my favorite things about the Renaissance Fair is the atmosphere. Hundreds of like-minded people walking around spouting medieval jargon all over the place. Most of the people are nice, and are trying to help everyone to have a good time at the fair. However...

Looks harmless enough, right? RIGHT?

     If I had kids, I would probably not bring them to the fair until they were older; and maybe not even then. The amount of sexual innuendo and language being spouted off by the performers on-stage and the criers for the various shops was atrocious. Most people nowadays find this funny, but I don't. Despite what most of the world may think, it is possible to be incredibly funny and keep it clean. For example, Brian Regan or Bill Cosby.

     Then there was the glorification of violence and blood in the final joust. Now, don't get me wrong, I believe violence is a necessary part of life, and I enjoy it in fictional circumstances. However, I understand the consequences of death, whereas the little five year old girl sitting in the stands in front of me nor the fifteen year old behind me do not. The problem is how the joust was portrayed. Instead of being depicted as the sporting event that it was, it was made into a gladiatorial arena.

In this picture: NOT JOUSTING.

      Sure, because of the nature of the game, deaths happened; but they were not the main focus nor the goal of a joust. A joust was a test of skill: being able to control your horse, aim your lance properly, and defeat the other person by winning points. The Ren Fair did a poor job of showing the finiteness of death. Death has become entertainment. As fun as the Ren Fair may be, the experience was marred by these problems and is completely family-unfriendly.

     Whew... That was a large amount of seriousness. Let's get to something fun again!

4. My Costume Held Up Well to the Rigors of the Ren Fair... For the Most Part.
     Not trying to brag or anything, but I'm quite proud of the costume I have this year. It's the first thing I've ever sewn... erm, clothsmithed, and I think I did a good job with it.

     The Ren Fair was the "trial-by-fire" for my costume; the first time I'd ever worn it to any sort of event. I'd worn the kilt to the Fair a few years ago, but the hood, the arm coverings and bracers, the pauldron, and the leg coverings were all new this year. I found the costume easily maneuverable, although the bracers would slowly slide down my arm. I'm pretty sure they weren't going to fall off, but it gave undue discomfort to my wrists. The only part that actually broke were some of the stitches on one of the leg coverings (an easy fix). It also turned a few heads; some good, some bad...

     First the bad. Over half of the people who recognized the costume were fifteen or younger. This is a costume based on an 'M' rated game, and yet a ten year old and a fifteen year old immediately recognized the hidden blade. Assassin's Creed is a very violent and controversial game, full of very controversial views on religion and politics. If you don't understand the difference between fact and fiction and are able to differentiate the two, the game will mess with your head. It is not a game for children to be playing. Ahem... Sorry. It's one of my pet peeves when parents let their kids play any game they want without first researching the game and why it's rated what it's rated. Now for the good!

5. THIS GUY.

     So, my friends and I are standing around talking, discussing where we'd like to go next. Suddenly, this guy, fully decked out in Samurai armor walks over next to me. I look up and realize that there are a few people with cameras preparing to take his picture. I quickly begin to move to the side, so as to not get in the way of the picture... but he quickly grabs my arm and pulls me back. Suddenly, I realize that he wants me in the picture. My mind goes numb for a bit while several people take out their cameras and snap off a few shots. A few kids run up in front of us and get their picture taken. When the crowd disperses, I turn to the guy and thank him for the photo op, then compliment his awesome armor. He silently nods, turns, and rejoins the crowds of people meandering through the market stalls and shops. At that time, I didn't think too much of it...

     Then, as I reflected on the day's events after I'd returned home, I really got to thinking about it. This guy's costume was a thousand times cooler than mine, yet he insisted that I be in the pictures with him. He said nothing to me, but he didn't need to. His simple gesture said to me, "Hey, your costume is cool too. Let's take some pictures." Every time I think about it, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside and it makes me happy. So Mr. Samurai, whoever you are, thank you for making me feel awesome. Despite how awesome and happy that made me feel, that wasn't even the best part of the trip for me...

6. THESE GUYS... AND GIRLS.

Unfortunately, one of us had to take the picture. Thank you, Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Photo.

     I am so blessed to have such a great group of friends.The best part of the trip for me was the drive up and back. While I'm sure the group in the other car had a great time, the people in my car had to have had a better one. The stereo in my car is broken, so instead of listening to music or radio for the several hour drive, we had to keep ourselves awake through conversation. From how broken the school system was to violence in the media to happy life as a married couple, the group in my car kept me engaged and awake long enough to get us home. The conversation wasn't merely a way to stay awake, however; the things we talked about had meaning and helped me to continue to shape the way I look at the world and reaffirm the values and morals I hold so dear. So, thanks to all of you for making the trip immeasurably better.

     To cap it all off with something funny, one last highlight...

7. The Enormous, Intimidating Black Man Walking a Tiny Chihuahua.
     Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of this either, but I'm pretty sure this doesn't need all that much of an explanation. As we're driving to the Ren Fair, we pass a very buff and intimidating black guy walking down the road with a tiny chihuahua running out in front of him. His manliness suddenly dropped a few notches on the meter... To be honest, you might not find this all that funny, but... ah, you had to be there.

AHA! TO ADVENTURE!

     So there you have it! The past few weeks have been incredibly awesome, and I'd been looking forward to this trip for a long time. Hopefully now I can get back to doing some actual writing... Oh wait, Assassin's Creed III comes out on Tuesday. Well, I'm sure I'll have a summary for it in a few days...

(Thanks to Bonnie for all the pictures, because I foolishly forgot my camera...)