"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Skyrimsmas

     Huzzah! It's finished! I had several ideas for this year's parody of the classic, "'Twas the Night Before Christmas", but I had to settle on one. I chose the one that I feel makes the most sense this year (you'll see what I mean). This year, like the first year I started this tradition, I present a story from one of the year's greatest video games. I think it's pretty obvious which one it is...

      Skyrim of course! Be ye warned: there are a few spoilers (yes, spoilers) in my story; in particular, a spoiler pertaining to one of the shouts you obtain once the main quest is complete. You have been warned! Otherwise, enjoy...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a sound could be heard, save the roar of my shouts.
The rest of the family, were all snug in their beds,
While I was slaying dragons in the land of Skyrim.

"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Memesmas

     I just want to say one thing: computer viruses are a real pain. I have an intense fight on my hands with this one, but I have things I want to do and I'm not going to let it stop me. By now you know the drill: here's a parody from the past...

      The time has come yet again for a glorious spoof of the wonderful "'Twas the Night Before Christmas". In 2008, the tale was in a far off battlefield, narrating one of many epic battles between the Master Chief and his alien foes. Last year, the battle hit home as yours truly did battle with the Fat Man. This year, the tale takes a less violent route. This year, the tale looks into the wide world of "memes". What is a "meme", you might ask? Go Google it. ON TO THE STORY!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all were in bed
Except for myself, busy surfing the Web
The stockings were hung anywhere there was space
Due to the unfortunate lack of a real fireplace

"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Battlesmas

     Whew! What a week... So, I missed posting one of these last Thursday due to a virus coursing through my computron. After several days of "virus eradication duty", I have finally (hopefully) destroyed the infernal infection. So, here's another "Twas the Night Before Christmas" parody. As before, I'm posting it unaltered from the one I posted on Facebook a few years ago. So now enjoy, 'Twas the Night Before Apocalypse".

     Yet another year has passed. Indeed, the time has come for yet another thrilling parody of the classic story: "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." Last year, the tale was in a far off battlefield, narrating one of many epic battles between the Master Chief and his alien foes. This year, however, the tale hits the home front, bringing the battle directly into your own living room. Some of you may gasp in horror at the grisly details of my tale; therefore, ye be warned, this story is not for the faint of heart. Some of you may think that I have too much time on my hands...and you would be right. And still some of you may read this and consider it brainless...to that I say, "Nobody asked you for your opinion!" Alas, I digress. So now, for a tale, a year in the making:
   

    'Twas the night before Christmas
    And thus was my plan
    To keep vigil throughout the night
    And wait for the "Fat Man"    

Assassin's Creed 3 Speculation: 'Revelations', I am Disappoint...

     So... I'm kind of disappointed in Assassin's Creed: Revelations. Sure, the game answered a lot some one of my questions, but... Well, it didn't do much else. From the "Da Vinci Disappearance" DLC, I already knew where we were going, or at least I had hoped we weren't going there. It didn't answer a few of the more pressing questions I had. Before reading this post you need to read the other two (Speculation and Revisited), so I don't have to repeat myself. As with the other two posts, there are going to probably be quite a few spoilers, so if you haven't played the games don't read this. Go play the games. Except for maybe the most recent one...

I do hope this is the last one of these I have to make...

"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Halosmas

     It's that time of year again! Every year for the past three years I've made a parody of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas". It's become a sort of tradition for me: one, to have something as an annual tradition and two, to continue to practice my writing and vocabulary skills. Sometimes it's a lot harder than I anticipate (as is seems to be this year). But, I shall persevere.

     In the meantime, I've decided to post the ones I've done over the past few years over the course of the next few weeks (one a week, I suppose). In 2008, the first year I really put an effort into it, I wrote an epic tale of Christmas on the front lines. Only these "front lines" were a little over five hundred years in the future, and on a planet far away...

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the front

Not a creature was stirring

Well maybe a Grunt.

Do Watch: 'Akira'

      I originally found Akira a few years ago, back when I first started watching anime. I skipped over it. Back then it was all about the new, the crisp, the clean. At first glance, Akira was none of those. Made in 1988, it certainly wasn't new, and the animation wasn't as clean and crisp as most of the shows I was watching at the time. Akira was made with traditional "cel animation", unlike modern digital animation. At first, I only gave it a glance. I had no idea how foolish that was...

Violent Video Games, You Say?

      Over the past few years I've been known to say, "I love blood and violence!". On occasion that stems from a desire to quote Sarge from Red vs Blue. Most of the time, however, it's a legitimate expression of my own thoughts. "Goongala! You blood-thirsty warmonger!" CHILL OUT! I have my reasons for this; namely: realism. As I've said previously, I find blood and gore adds a certain amount of realism to a game, movie, or anime. There is a limit to that though, and anime exceeds it often. But, if you're going to have violence in your game, movie, or anime, at least have blood to go along with it. It does make a difference in realism. I'm not in it only for the bloody violence. This is all besides the point however, and I digress from the original point of this post. I warn you now, it's going to be a long one (quite possibly the longest piece I've ever written). Also, keep in mind that most of this was written a few months ago, so certain info and/or data may be a bit dated...

Let's talk about games, shall we?

'Kingdom of Heaven'... The Director's Cut.

     "Wait a minute, Goongala. If I'm reading this correctly, you're doing a movie review. You don't do movie reviews." Yes, I do! Well, okay, no I don't. But, now I am! At least one movie review anyway. I just had to do it, my conscience compelled me...

     The first time I watched Kingdom of Heaven, it instantly made my “favorites” list. The story was pretty good; the historical accuracy, although stretched at times, was excellent; the music was phenomenal; and the actors completely owned their characters. If there was one problem with Kingdom of Heaven, it would have been that character development was non-existent. You see only a glimpse into the backstory, a mere page in what should have been a whole book of information. In walks the Director's Cut, which adds over forty minutes to the movie as well as several changes to the original footage. PROBLEM SOLVED.

And here...we...go...

What is this... Anime? 二番ラウンド (Second Round)!

     Back in February, I did a blurb about anime. As I read it now, it comes across as somewhat fanboyish, and more heavily opinionated than I had originally intended. Many of my original opinions still stand, but I've had more time to mold them into a better argument. "No one's arguing with you, Goongala." SILENCE! I mean... Yeah, it is kind of one sided in here. *Sigh* Anyhoo, time to try this again...

So listen up...

It Can't Be That Bad... Can It?

     Something a bit different this time:

I Hate Surprises...

     Wow! It's been a while hasn't it? Well, today's RETRO LULZ is for a special occasion...

A Matter of Opinion...

     Recently, I've been making a lot of posts about retro games and consoles. A friend of mine suggested that I write something about my opinion of the old versus the new. Well, when I've got writer's block and someone drops a brilliant idea into my lap, I'm going to pick it up and run with it. RUN WITH IT! However, be warned: this is going to be a long one...

Ready? START!

The Plunder of Kakariko...

     The Legend of Zelda is one of the original RPG Adventure games. Now tell me, what's the first thing you do in the first town you come to when you play an RPG?

Uncharted 2: Memories of a Mythical Beast...

     Over the past few weekends I've been playing the Uncharted games, in preparation for the third one coming out this fall. I don't have a PS3, so a friend of mine has been gracious enough to let me play them on his. I have enjoyed them immensely.

Like Assassin's Creed... But with more Hind Gunships.

On Second Thought...

     Did you see them? Those two posts about "The Shadow Menace"? If you didn't, then don't worry about it. If you did, and are wondering, "What happened to them?", the answer is: they've been put on hold indefinitely. Don't worry, I still have plans to do them, but I'm going to wait until the comic is more established. You could say they're on hold like Duke Nukem Forev- Oh, wait... We're going to have to find a new joke now...

     In other news, I've decided on a name for the comic: RETRO LULZ.

A Natural Enemy...

     Prepare your brains for imminent LULZ!

Watch Those Expiration Dates...

     Have you ever seen something that doesn't make sense, then wonder how it came to be? Yeah, me too...

Link: Pokemon Master...

     Yep, another mash-up of some classic retro games. Enjoy:

A Pond of Frustration...

     Yep! Here's another comic. The jokes are just rolling in, so I'll keep 'em coming. For this one, you would need to have played the game to understand it. I'll explain it at the end if you haven't...

What Does This Thing Do?

     I came up with another idea for a comic, this time a little longer than the other one. It merges two of the Zelda games together... Although, I think that's kind of obvious.

And so it Begins...

     So, I had been thinking about making a webcomic based on A Link to the Past. Originally the idea was to draw a manga of the entire game. Then I found out how long the game was... Idea: scrapped. Then I thought of making a witty, funny webcomic. However, I am really lazy when it comes time to write something down on paper. Yes, I could draw it but... That's too much effort. So I thought, what if, I use sprites to make a comic? I have the technology... Let's give it a shot!

     EDIT: I redid all the pics and now they're less blurry. Enjoy!

Those Games Were Hard... A Poem?

Before there were "Easy", "Normal", and "Hard",
There was only, "Near Freakin' Impossible".
Before the dominion of Thumbsticks,
The D-pad reigned supreme.
Before there were 64 bits,
There were only 16.
Before the Ocarina of Time,
There was... A Link to the Past.

Some Actual Grumbles...

     So, a few friends and I went to see Thor last Sunday. Overall, it was a good movie, and I probably liked it more because Thor is my favorite Marvel character. However, there was one thing that irked me, and Thor isn't the only movie to have done it. No, I think the first time I noticed it was back in 2007, with Transformers. It probably happened before then, but it only first came to my attention then. What is this "it" I speak of? It's the problem of, "Can you please hold the camera steady during the fight scenes so I can actually tell who's getting hit?"

"If shaking the camera won't work... Just cover all the action with explosions! They'll never figure out what's going on!" - Michael Bay

What is this... Favorites? Characters!

     WHEW! It's been a few weeks since I wrote something new. I've been suffering from some epic laziness, but that ends now... With this post!    

See if you can name them all before reading the rest of this thing!

     After reflecting on the... Forty-three (yup, just counted them) animes that I've watched, I began thinking: out of all of the characters in all of these animes, which are my favorites? Why do I like them in particular? As I looked back, I decided to choose ten characters who've defined awesome for me.

     For some of these, I may not really have much of a reason other than I just like them as a character (I am entitled to my own opinion!). They also aren't going to be in any particular order, but I figure I at least have to start with my all time favorite... Or perhaps I'll save that one for last. Yeah, I'll save it... There are going to be a ton of spoilers (each will be prefaced with "SPOILER" for easy spotting and blacked out so you wont accidentally read them. As always, highlight the blacked out areas to read!) so if you are interested in watching the anime, watch out for those. I'm not going to give away a lot of details about the animes themselves, so if you want to know more... watch the anime! Or, you know, you can just Google it or something...

Assassin's Creed 3 Speculation: Revisited

Yes... Let's...

     After watching someone play "The Da Vinci Disappearance", and conversing with others who have either done the same or have played the DLC, I've come to find that some of my speculations were a bit off. "A bit off" meaning "completely wrong". Before your read this, however, you have to read the original post. That way, you know kind-of what I'm talking about...

What is this... おたく?

     "Three posts in one day? Goongala, you spoil us." Well, yes... Anyway, time for another dose of Japanese culture, with a side of geekiness... Now, just what is this "Otaku Series"?

I spot... Kon, Naruto, Alphonse, Cloud Strife, Domo-kun, a Dragonball, Pikachu, and is that... Poop?

What is this... Manga?

     It's finally time for the third part of my "Otaku Series". "What's an 'otaku'," you might ask? I'll get to that later, since I think this one's going to be pretty short. So, onto manga...

Look at 'em all!

'Prayers for Japan'

     Over the past week and a half now, the Japanese have been suffering from one of the most catastrophic disasters to ever hit their Island. I love Japan, and it upsets me to see them going through so much pain. I have a sort of hopeless feeling, like, "What can I do?" I've donated, but I still feel somewhat helpless. I decided I could do more... And this is what I came up with:

Click for a higher resolution (clearer picture)...

What is this... VOCALOID?

    When you watch the amount of Anime that I watch, you can't go long without hearing Japanese music. Each anime has a unique OP (intro) and ED (ending) song, sometimes more than one if the series lasts long enough. Sometimes the songs are made specifically for the Anime, and sometimes the song has nothing to do with anything. But that's more about Anime, and not really about Vocaloid.

The 'Moral Dilemma'

Yeah, it's got a nunchuck attachment used for bashing spectators sitting behind you...

     What happened to our morals? I mean, what happened to America's morals? It seems as though we've taken a nose dive as a nation. This degradation of our morals has penetrated pretty much every part of our entertainment. It's hard to go anywhere or do anything without running across people screaming profanities aloud or seeing something that's morally questionable. It's even gotten into video games.

'Dead Space 2' Review

    After playing the first Dead Space, I have to say, I was really looking forward to this next installment. Visceral did a really good job of making a new world for this one, and the story is phenomenal. Albeit a story with very common mistakes, but without those mistakes there would be no plot. Mistakes like building another Marker. Did you not learn from the first time around! Anyway, here's what I think:

I can has cool helmet?

Assassin's Creed 3 Speculation

How can you end a game like that!? It's just like Halo 2! RAGE!

     Instead of writing up reviews for the Assassin's Creed games, I decided to do something a little different. I will instead do some speculation (read: conspiracy theorizing) about the future of Assassin's Creed, and the plot of Assassin's Creed 3. Now, of course, this is all mere speculation, but using the cryptic messages from the previous installment's endings, I have put together some theories that seem to fit the mold Ubisoft is creating for us.

What is this... Anime?

It all began that one time I saw...

     Anime. Japanimation. Japanese cartoons. It really doesn't matter what you call it, it's still awesome. "But why, Goongala? Why do you like anime so much?" This has been asked of me several times by my friends, even if they didn't know they were asking. Some give me weird looks, looks that say, "You're weird. I'm not talking to you anymore." "So then, what's the deal Goongala?" Here's a few reasons why I like anime so much.

The Superbowl: Losing with Dignity and a look into my Football Past...

 Okay, time for a serious note... Sorta...

The Superbowl: Turning the Best of Friends, into the Bitterest of Enemies...

     Every year, the game of football (as in "real football" and "not soccer") culminates in the "Big Game", the Superbowl. During this event, a strange phenomenon occurs. A friend cheers for their team which just completed an epic play, whereas you grumble and mumble angry thoughts under your breath. You much on your chips angrily as you await the next play, and wouldn't you know, your team intercepts the pigskin and drives it all the way to the end zone. Immediately, you jump up (tossing your chips), get in your friends face, and yell, "How do ya like them apples!"

The Life of a Goongala...

   Goongala's? Grumbles? What is this that I have stumbled upon whilst surfing the web? This, my friend, is blog about nothing... and everything. Right now it is but a newborn, but great things are to become of it when it grows. But what of this title you ask? Goongala's Grumbles. Well, I am known as Goongala, and this blog shall be where I ramble off about various video games I've played, movies I've seen, crazy dreams I've had, stories I've written, and so on and so forth. Although the title says, "Grumbles", I will more than likely not be grumbling. I have a generally happy outlook on life, and more often than not I'm an optimist. I write for the fun of it, and for the joy it may bring any readers who stumble across this, my very own blog. My imagination is vast, and so there are many stories to tell, many things to write about. But the hour is late, and I must say farewell until tomorrow. I end with a question: will this blog be awesome? Well, I shall do my best, but after all is said and done that is an answer for you to decide.