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| So gloriously incandescent... all over again... (Source) |
When first I arrived in Drangleic, I found it very different from Lordran. First off, I wasn't stuck in some dark, dank asylum. I was standing in a nice little gazebo amidst a sea of grass. It was wonderful... at least until I got to the hovel filled with overly dramatic, pessimistic old women. They told me immediately that I had no chance... then laughed at me. Once through their hazing of negativity, I was off to Dark Souls II's "tutorial area", where I encountered my first deaths.
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| Never tell me the odds! (Source) |
1. Failed the jump.
Yeah, I failed the "jump tutorial" and fell to my death. First death of the game. I even got an achievement for it. Fantastic start...
2. Didn't see that ledge there...
Not a minute later I walked straight off the edge of a walkway and died. A walkway in the tutorial area. *Le Sigh*
3. The "Fatsmith".
Once I arrived in Majula, I encountered a blacksmith who was locked out of his smithy. The problem: there were two open windows on either side of the door that were as wide, or wider, than the locked door. He was quite large, so I surmised that he must have not been able to fit through them, and thus he was named "Fatsmith".
4. Dem
As I explored Majula, I happened upon a trio of very angry mole-thingies that were hiding underground behind a large building. They were a hardy bunch: my broadsword did very little damage and, although locked on, they were too small to hit consistently. I managed to kill one of them, which made his friends none too happy. They chased me all the way back to the local bonfire, where I promptly popped a squat and sent them back to to the earth from whence they came.
5. Opening a chest... and suddenly remembering about mimics.
It's a common tactic in the Souls series to strike or kick a chest to test whether it's a mimic or not. It had been a while since I'd played Dark Souls, and I had forgotten this simple and effective tool. However, I suddenly remembered to check for mimics... halfway through opening a chest. It was a tense few seconds, not knowing whether I'd be chomped for my lapse in memory.
6. Naw.. that guy looks like death...
As with Dark Souls, there is a right and wrong way to go. I found two tunnels branching off from Majula, so I had to pick one. Of course, it was the wrong one. I emerged from the tunnel at "Heide's Tower of Flame", the name of which should have been the first indication that I did not want to be there. The second was the massive armored dude standing right in the middle of the path.
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| That's a big mace... (Source) |
Actually, he wasn't, but his friend was. I was able to kill him and the next one, but the third guy got me. It was also here that I saw my first glimpse of enemies not respawning: the first guy respawned, but the second didn't. I decided to save the tower for a later date (and a higher level), and made my way back to Majula.
8. Mimic scare.
After remembering to check for mimics, I began hitting every one I came across before I opened it. When I did this to a wooden chest, it jiggled. I flinched... big time. When it didn't come alive, I smacked it again. After that, I figured it was safe to open and grabbed the loot. However, I'm still anxious about opening chests. What if From Software knew about the standard "smack it" mimic test, and made the mimics not wake up when hit?
9. Solaire? Is that you?
After figuring out where to go, I encountered an undead knight staring up into the sky. He just stood there staring at the magnificent father, wishing he could be so grossly incandescent... until I stabbed him in the back and knocked him off the ledge. Then I felt bad... had I just killed a Sunbro?
10. IT'S A TRAP!
Later, I found a hole in the wall. Through this hole, I saw several ballistas pointed at me. They didn't shoot at me and I couldn't see anyone operating them, but my trap senses began tingling something fierce. So, I stepped through the hole... *click-click* "Nope, nope, nope, nope!" I ran back out of that room as fast as my feet would take me, chased by four undead knights. Their ballista bolts didn't get me, but they sure did. (Later on, I went back and triggered the trap again. As I left the room, one of the undead knights took the ballista bolts to the back as he chased me... all of them. It was quite amusing.)
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| Rather obvious, ain't it? (Source) |
I met a guy near a trap door a little ways past the hole, who told me a story about the door, its trap mechanism, and the fact that his friend had gone through and not yet returned. Then he told me that he had the guy's ring, and how he hoped nothing bad had happened to him... Yeah, likely story, bub. Don't you try anything funny...
12. I bet I can make that jump...
I left Mr. Sketchy to his devices and ran back to another passage, where I ran past an armadillo man and evaded a hail of fire bombs to get to a ladder that lead to the top of a wall. I saw two paths and chose one... which was, of course, the wrong one. I found the room where a bunch of undead knights were throwing the fire bombs. Above them was a wooden ledge with an item on it. There was a sizable gap in between the ledge I trod on and the item's location, but I figured I could make it. I didn't... twice. I dropped into the room full of undead and died, then lost all my souls when they killed me again on a recovery effort.
13. That tree is unnerving...
I found a tree that looked incredibly odd. It unnerved me, and rightly so. Later on I'd encounter another, one far more unnerving... and dangerous.
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| That's no tree... (Source) |
My roommate started watching me about this time. As I entered yet another fog gate, I turned to him and mentioned that I found it odd that I hadn't encountered a boss yet. Then I heard the music. Me and my big mouth...
Attempt 1: He squashed me with his foot. *Le Squish!*
Attempt 2: Got his health down to 50%, at which time he decided to RIP HIS ARM OFF AND BEAT ME TO DEATH WITH IT. Definitely did not see that one coming...
Attempt 3: And again. *Le Squish Deux!*
Attempt 4: *LE SQUISH TROIS!* (At this point, I've pretty much figured out his moves and how to beat him. But that's easier understood than done...)
Attempt 5: AGAIN! *LE SQUISH QUATRE!*
Attempt 6: ONE GUESS... YUP! *LE SQUISH CINQ!* (This was the first time I saw him fall down, which I promptly took advantage of.)
Attempt 7: THE ARM! THE ARM!
Attempt 8: HE FELL ON ME!?!? (This one is the only one I consider a cheap death. His torso's hit box extends down well below his knees, which is where I was when he fell down. He wasn't touching me at all, but I still died.)
Attempt 9: I made a mistake and got smacked across the room. Because of how many times I'd died, my HP cap was at 50%, and the strike killed me. (... and that was because I somehow got it in my mind that you have to burn effigies in order to restore your health. Should have read the instructions...)
Attempt 10: He fell on me... again. Technically, he never touched me, but DAT HITBOX.
15. The equipping of the Pancake Shield.
I decided that enough was enough. I ran in and grabbed all those souls I had acquired from killing that one guy on the way to the Last Giant over and over, then homeward boned back to Majula. I used said souls to reinforce my broadsword then looked through my inventory to see if I had anything I could use to help with the battle. I found that I had picked up a new shield somewhere... a leather shield with a very peculiar shape and color... like a giant pancake.
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| Those little spots must be butter pats... (Source) |
16. ...but not even giants can resist pancakes.
It worked. We could not believe it. The pancake shield made all the difference and the syrup was delicious. The pancake shield would seem to be some sort of magical item, and it shall never leave my side... it is... precious to me...
TOTAL DEATH COUNT OF DAY ONE:
16
Unfortunately, committing genocide is a tiresome job. I had only played four hours, but I called it quits for the night. From what I've seen, I think it's going to be a good game. Although I don't like the "feel" as much as Dark Souls, I think it's just something that'll get better with time. I feel a little slower on the roll, and the lack of "invincibility frames" is tough to get used to. I really liked the Last Giant boss design, and, although somewhat predictable, he proved quite a challenge for me. Most importantly, I enjoyed it.
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| Yes... I have been waiting for this... (Source) |
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