Reflections of 2012... I AM DISAPPOINT.

     So, the year has past, and as I sit here behind my computer, I find myself depressed. To be honest, 2012 wasn't all that great a year for me. Sure, there were good things, but they were constantly overshadowed by the bad. Here's what I mean...

Gaming
     In 2011, I made a resolution to play more games. I know that seems rather odd, but at the time, I wasn't really that much of what I'd call a hardcore gamer. 2011 came and went, and, sure enough, I played loads of games. Skipping ahead to 2012, I've found games struggling to keep me happy. I'm constantly torn between wanting to game, and having to game. This year, I got a new computer, which allowed me to play dozens of games I had never had access to before. As I started to amass a vast collection of games, I found myself not finishing them. The first one was F.E.A.R. for the Xbox 360. I bought it, played through it almost all the way, then got distracted and never went back. Then I got Vanquish and the same thing happened. I have over 40 games on Steam, but I've played less than half of them.

So many games... but not enough time to play them.

     Part of the reason I think I'm not finishing games is because I've been trying to make videos for Youtube. Instead of looking at a game as something to play and enjoy, I'm constantly looking for something to put in my next video. I'm so focused on trying to come up with a clever quip or comment about what's happening on-screen that I tend to not pay enough attention to the characters and story. Then again, when I do, I'm not always pleased with what I'm hearing. 2012 was not a great year in gaming. Yes, Halo 4 was good, but, despite what I said in my review, it really didn't feel like Halo. And don't you dare even get me started on Assassin's Creed III. Other than Guild Wars 2, nothing really sticks out as "fantastic". Overall, I'm rather disappointed in the gaming scene this year.

*Sigh* I know them feels, Chief...

     I've concluded that I'm going to stop making videos, or at least make them less often. Yes, I know there are some people who genuinely enjoyed them, but with most of my videos only garnering 40-50 views, I don't see the point in spending hours making videos when I could be playing the games instead.

     Probably the best thing that has happened to me in gaming this year, is my introduction to the wide world of MMORPGs through Guild Wars 2. I've met some incredible people while playing the game, and I've had an absolute blast. When I watched Angry Joe's GW2 review, I had chills run down my spine as I shivered with excitement. I play that game, I thought. Guild Wars 2 is most definitely the best game of the year, and I'm incredibly thankful that my friend talked me into playing it.

Writing
     At the end of 2011, I decided to make resolutions just like everyone else. One of them was "finish my book". Sadly, that has not happened. To be honest, I'm almost sick of it now. I've rewritten and rewritten and rewritten so many times that I just don't want to read it anymore. I'm making one last revision to fix the glaring problems with the "tenses" (present and past tense are mingled throughout), but then I'm done with it, and I expect I'll take a good long break before I start the next one I have planned. I'm still glad I did it, but It's really burned me out and it took a lot of time this year from other, possibly more important, things.

     Another resolution I made at the beginning of 2012 was to write another 100 posts before the years end. Not only did I fail that, but most of the posts I did make were sub-par. As I look back through my posts, I'm appalled at what I let myself post, not because of content, but because of quality. Even though this blog is a lot like my Youtube videos (low views, long hours of creation), I like writing a lot better than I do making videos. Hopefully, I won't neglect this blog as badly as I did in 2012.

I'm sorry, blog... so sorry...

     I also feel a little depressed as I look back over my posts and other writings. I feel like an idiot with a crayon sometimes when I read someone else's well-crafted argument and then look back to my own. I have a hard time grasping things like personalities and themes. Some of my reviews seem pretty boring when I read over them again. I also have a terrible memory. Things I knew just a few weeks ago escape me now. I've got a mind full of random facts, and nowhere to use them...

Anime
     If there's one thing that I feel worked out better than the rest in 2012, its anime. If there's anything I think I could work on anime-wise, I would say it's being more open about it. I know my friends know that I like anime, but I don't think they grasp just how much I like anime. At last count, I've completed over 60 anime, plus movies and OVAs (Original Video Animations). I've got a bookshelf full of manga and figurines. I regularly post Japanese phrases on my Facebook and here on the blog. I know people may think I'm weird, but I'm an Otaku through and through.

Probably one of my favorites this year... (Sword Art Online)

     The problem with this is that I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. The close friends I have who watch anime don't watch nearly as much as I do, and don't have the same gusto when talking about it. In the past few weeks, I've met a few people who I think could fill that void, and it would be fun to get together with them and chat about anime, manga, and Japanese culture in general.

Music
     Gangnam Style... and that's all that needs be said.

Mayans
     The Mayans were wrong, but I still feel like the world could end at any moment... which, technically, it could. It's weird how something like that can make you view life differently.

Life
     Forgive the personal issues, but that's what I've been reflecting on lately. Several of my close friends have gone and gotten married, while others have drifted away slowly due to other reasons. As I write this, I'm sitting alone in my apartment because both of my roommates have girlfriends with which they spend a lot of their time. Don't get me wrong: this isn't a, "Boo hoo, forever alone" statement, and I'm really happy that they've found someone, but I don't get to see them as often as I used to. The friends who I was close with a few years ago have changed quite a bit since then, and I don't feel as close to them as I used to. Our interests have steadily gone in seperate ways. We used to meet every Friday night, but now I'm lucky if I get to see them once every few months. The thing is, I don't feel like I need to see them all that often, and that kinda scares me a little.

     Then again, friends that I wasn't that close to a few years ago are now really close. Life, right?

     Anyhoo, to get back to a less personal note, I've gone through my posts from last year and chosen a few of my favorites:

- Amnesia Custom Story: "Real Life"
- Star Wars Week
- What is a Gamer?
- Deus Ex: Human Revolution Review
- The Garden of Your Mind
- Sweet Cuppin' Cakes! An Award!
- Guild Wars 2 Review

     So the year has ended. I think it could have gone much better, but nothing really bad happened so I can only complain so much. I do hope to finish that book soon and get it out, and I also hope to keep up with this blog a little more than I have been. So, without further ado, I say farewell 2012, and hello 2013!

Here I am, 2013! COME AT ME, BRO!

     Also, keep an eye out for a "Resolutions for 2013" post, which I will hopefully be writing within the next few days. Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu! (That's "Happy New Year" for those of you who don't know Japanese, or don't know how to "Google" things.)