"Twas the Night Before the Parodies": Wintersday

     And so, as is tradition, I've written yet another parody of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. We've been to a Halo and to the wilds of Skyrim; as well as my living room on more than one occasion. This year, however, we travel to another faraway land known as Tyria, the location of this year's greatest release: Guild Wars 2.

     Christmas in the Guild Wars universe is known as Wintersday, and is a festivity unrivaled in all the lands of Tyria. Despite it's name, Wintersday is not just one day; it's a festival spanning several weeks. This festival started yesterday, December 14th, so I decided to post my parody a few days early. Join me as we go to a homestead in the wilds of the Wayfarer Foothills, to hear an old Norn tale of a large Norn in a red coat who gives presents to children who leave him flagons of ale...

'Twas the night before Wintersday, when all through the hall,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a Grawl.

A dozen flagons of ale were stacked by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Old Nik Whitebeard soon would be there.

The Glorious PC Gaming Master Race...

     So, it all started when I posted this picture on Facebook:

I absolutely love it by the way...

     A few hours later, I found myself deep in the dirt and grime of a fierce flame war...

Retro Grumbles: The Airman Challenge

'Assassin's Creed III' Review: I am (More) Disappoint

     Like thousands of other gamers at a thousand other Gamestops, I picked up Assassin's Creed III on Monday at midnight. I was so psyched for this game. For years I poured over the lore and speculated as to what was to come. I crafted a costume to wear to the midnight release. I was ready to see how the story ends... *sigh*. Brace yourselves, Assassin's Creed fanboys, this blog is about to live up to its name... (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD)

The Star Wars Debacle

     As of today, Lucasfilm is owned by Disney. I truly don't know what to make of that. On the one hand, Star Wars is out of George's hands, which means we may get a break from all the terrible things he has continued to do to the original trilogy. On the other hand, what's to stop Disney from making those same mistakes? And they're planning to make 7, 8, and 9? With who? Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford are ancient! Are they planning to re-cast their characters with younger actors?

Logic can't repel fanboyism of that magnitude!

     I don't know what to make of this. Disneyworld may very well be burned down by hordes of angry fans if things go bad... and I would probably be one of them. Just look at what you've done, George. I hope you're ashamed of yourself...

A Goon's Day at the Fair...

     Forgive me, blog, for I have neglected you for far too long. I have not been idle, however. These past few weeks have been wonderful and full of many great things. For one, I've been... sewing. Ugh, that sounds so... unmanly. How about, clothsmithing? Yeah, that's good. Why have I been clothsmithing? For the Renaissance Fair of course!

Yep, that's me. Not what you expected? Yeah, me neither...

     Several friends and I decided to make a day trip to the North Carolina Renaissance Fair this past weekend, and what a trip it was. "Show us the highlight reel!" Oh, okay... but you know there are good and bad highlights, right? (This is a "Life" post, and, while I'll try to make it as funny as possible, it may not happen.)

"Ano Hana" Review

     To be honest, this will probably be pretty short. I've been caught up in other things, and I'm starting to forget the show's finer points. But don't let that sway your opinion: Ano Hana (also known as Ano Hi Mita no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai whew-what-a-mouth-full) is quite possibly one of the best shows I've seen in a long while.

"Guild Wars 2" Review: Noobling Musings of an MMO...

     So, I caved and bought Guild Wars 2. A bunch of my friends had recommended it, and I had read a bit about it before. Now that I've played it... sweet cuppin' cakes...

YES TO ALL THE THINGS!

Sweet Cuppin' Cakes! An Award!

     I don't often get comments on my blog, so when I do I sort of flip out. "What!? Someone reads this stuff?!? Who are they and who do they work for? IS IT THE FEDS?" Paranoia sets in and I try to figure out who they are. Most of the time, it's someone I know personally. Sometimes though... it's someone I've never heard of before...

A giant award! Maybe it's friendly!

The Impossible Science of Doctor Who...

     Let me set a few things straight before I begin. One, I am thoroughly enjoying Doctor Who. No matter what I say afterwards, know that I do like the show and quite enjoy the Doctor and the hilarious predicaments he gets himself into. Comedy is a big part of the show, and they almost always execute it flawlessly, whether it be jokes or just personality quirks. Two, this here post will most likely have oodles of spoilers all the way up to, and including, the finale of Season 5. Right... onto the science... or lack thereof...

It's timey-whimy... space stuff...

"The Legend of Korra" Review

     One of the main reasons I watched Avatar: The Last Airbender was so that I could get to the new series, The Legend of Korra. From what I had seen on Youtube and other websites, I had a good feeling that I would enjoy it. Now that I've watched it, I can say that I not only enjoyed it... I loved it. Warning: spoilers throughout.

"Avatar: The Last Airbender" Review

      This has been on my to do list for a lot longer than I'd care to admit. I've said already that I've been writing a book, but I've also been editing a book for a friend and I've gotten back into playing some Minecraft with a couple of friends. Plus, I have a full time job. All this means I have little time to do much writing. It makes me sad... BUT NO MORE! It's time to do a review. Without further ado, Avatar: The Last Airbender. Warning: spoilers will probably follow...

Toph looks a little derpy...

Sword Art Online: First Look

     No, this is not a game. While perusing this anime season's line-up, I found that I really didn't want to watch any of them. This is not necessarily a bad thing: I have a backlog of anime a mile long that I still have yet to get to. But one show did stick out. Sword Art Online is a new anime that recently premiered in Japan, in which thousands of people play an advanced online game. Because I am a gamer, I decided to check it out.

That sword on the left looks pretty awesome... DO WANT.

The Garden of Your Mind...

     Time for something a little bit different, something serious. E3 took up a lot of time and was back to back for several days straight, so it kind of burnt me out. I figured I'd take a break for a few days... then I found this. As weird as this sounds, it's been on my mind a lot lately (and not just because I've been listening to it on repeat, non-stop). I would hope that everyone seen this already, but if you haven't take a look:

     First off, on a less serious note, I would hope that this video will educate the younger masses as to what a cassette player is. I feel so old when people tell me stories of handing kids a VHS tape or a floppy disk and they say, "What's this?" Ah, those were much simpler times...
     Now for the serious. I will warn you that this is probably going to be boring ruminations, but I felt the need to write this out and I wanted to post something to the blog. So, without further ado...

Fullmetal Alchemist: The Sacred Star of Milos - Movie Review

     Something that I've been itching to try is to start doing anime reviews. Watching anime has been a part of my geeky routine for the past few years, and I've done a few posts on the blog about such things. As of late, this blog has been lacking in that department. I've just finished watching Fullmetal Alchemist: The Sacred Star of Milos, so I figure now is as good a time as any to start doing anime reviews. For this review, you should have already watched Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, preferably all the way through. So, without further ado... Ikuzo!

The End of a Celebration...

     And so "Star Wars Week" comes to a close... and what a fun week it was. A Star Wars movie every night for the past six nights has been great. It could have only been better if George hadn't botched the prequels and ruined the originals with his incessant meddling...

It's Star Wars Week, My Fellow Jedi...

     It's (unofficial) Star Wars week! May 19th through the 25th is the week in which all the Star Wars movies were released. This has been somewhat of a tradition for me for the past few years, and I hope to keep it going for the rest of my geeky life. I celebrate by watching all six movies over the course of the week, one per day. Yes, this means I watch the prequels too, as bad as they may be. The first few days are especially rough...

     Join me, and together we can enjoy the greatness that is Star Wars! Happy Star Wars week everyone!

May The Fourth Be With You...

     Happy May 4th, everybody. Be sure to watch your favorite Star Wars film, listen to some of the fantastic music, or play one of your favorite games. And may the Force be with you, always.

'Mount & Blade: Warband' Review

     So, buying Mount & Blade was quite possibly one of the best purchases I've made this year. I have been having a blast just messing around with it. "But what are some of the finer points?" Well, I'm glad you asked...

Finding box art for a downloadable PC game?  The definition of "difficult"...

'Deus Ex: Human Revolution' End Choice Musings

     Deus Ex: Human Revolution has four different endings, each of which is extremely well written. These endings aren't specifically governed by the choices you make in the game (those have other consequences which must be dealt with immediately after or very soon after the decision), but are decided with the press of a button. Literally. Here is a video of all the endings, which obviously contains spoilers:

Ocarina of Metal

     I was playing some Ocarina of Time when this happened...

     Okay, so it didn't actually happen exactly like that, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. And now it will forever and always be this way in your mind too...

Star Wars: No, George, Just... Just Stop...

     Recently, George Lucas has said that he is going to retire from the movie making business. For me, this is good news. Every time he changes something in the original trilogy I cringe, thinking, "What nonsense has he added this time?" However, George is blaming us, the fans, for crushing his dreams of making more Star Wars films, saying, "Why would I make any more when everybody yells at you all the time and says what a terrible person you are?" He blames us. No, George; don't go blaming your fans. As much as I admire the man who created the greatest Science Fiction franchise in history, he has no one to blame but himself. My main point: He didn't make bad movies, he made them bad.

You have failed me, George... For the last time...

Singles Awareness Day

     For many a geek and nerd, this day is a testament to the sad fact that many of us have not found that special someone. Some of us haven't really been looking, while others have searched far and wide only to be delegated to mere friendship. I would fall into the former of the two, so I suppose it's my own fault.

      On this special occasion however, I've decided to write a poem, or rather a haiku. Actually, two of them to be exact, one for each of the situations mentioned above. For those who haven't really looked:

 Another year passed...

Yet my status stays the same...

Forever alone...

     And for those who can't seem to catch a break:

No matter the girl...

I still get the same answer...

Friendzoned, yet again...

     For those of you who do have that special someone, I'd like to remind you that there are those of us who aren't so fortunate. So, please, keep the mushy stuff to a minimum... And enjoy your Singles Awareness Day.

Amnesia Custom Story: "Real Life"

     Over the past few Sundays I've been inviting friends over for a session of "Sunday Afternoon Amnesia". A few of them were interested in the game, but not brave crazy enough to actually play it themselves. That's where I come in. In a fit of bad judgment, I bought the game and decided I wanted to play it (should have probably been the other way around). My friends became engrossed with the story... so much so that they decided to play a little prank on me... (Unfortunately, they didn't take pictures, and to keep this blog post from being a wall of text, these standard issue Amnesia pictures will have to suffice.)

Oh boy, this just got real... Literally...

'Dark Souls' Review?

     So I had missed out on a lot of games last year due to lack of funds. However, now that my wallet has somewhat recovered from the fall gaming season, I decided to get some of the games I had missed out on. The first I decided to try out was Dark Souls. Whoops...

EDIT: I'm quite the idiot. This game is one of the greatest games I've ever played, and I did it an injustice by not giving it a chance. I've since bought the game for PC and have completed it, and I'm very much looking forwards to Dark Souls II. I'm quite ashamed that I didn't give Dark Souls the chance it deserved, and I urge you to have patience and give it a chance. I've done a few edits to fix my stupidity...

A severe lapse in judgement on my part...

What is this... Weaboo?

      While watching a livestream a few weeks months ago, I heard a conversation between the Livestreamer and a commentor in the chat box. It went a little something like this:

Commentor: "Desu" means "death".
Livestreamer: "Desu" does not mean "death", you stupid weaboo!

     All I could say was... WUT? So, I did some research, and here's what I found...

Wait, what do you mean research? Is this about to be educational?